Polyamory – A Journey

A photo from along the South Umpqua River up river from Tiller and very near South Umpqua Falls.
Taken while we were on our winter retreat in ’17! Photo Copyright 2017, Peggy A Rowe-Snyder

It’s been a journey that as of yet, is still incomplete…

 

From a group where I posted on Facebook: 

Thought I should stop lurking and post an intro since I’ve started to be brave enough to post (so far only twice). My name is Peg. I live in Southern Oregon not far from the Seven Feathers Casino. I am 57 years old, and have four children, and they are all, thankfully, living on their own.

It’s a long story, but I am back in school, over at OSU (ecampus) working toward a Bachelors in History and a minor in Women’s Studies. The end game, I hope is to be a historian and a writer. But, the history is not so simple as American History or even one regions history. The history I am more interested in is family dynamic and culture and how it’s evolved (or devolved in some cases) over the eons. And the ultimate goal: To use my voice and my education to help break the cycle of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. (I won’t get on that soap box, I won’t get on that soap box…..) Taking a breath!! LOL

I am not legally married to my husband anymore, but not for the most common reasons. We each have health issues, and he is medically retired. When he got his disability, I lost mine. They said he could support me. Well, I lost medical insurance at that time, and one of my meds (not covered by insurance anyhow) costs $540 per month. There is no generic in America. With the way the cards landed I was better off divorcing him in order to keep insurance going. So, we live together, we love each other, we support each other, etc. etc. etc. Someday once I am on normal social security we hope to marry. (only a few years to go!)

Having said all that, I learned of polyamory around the year 2000. I started to research it and started making contact with people in the lifestyle. At that time I was single. I even bought the book “The Ethical Slut.” lol.(which a daughter borrowed and never returned) Then I met my husband (the one who isn’t a husband. LOL) and he’d never heard of it, and I introduced him to the idea. At the time, I told him that was the way I intended to live. It just makes sense.

Well, our relationship grew and he wasn’t sure he could handle that so, I gave in. We got married, and I found out that I wasn’t all that secure either! LOL. Long story short is that we’ve been together for 16 or 17 years now. We are still pretty well attached. I’ve never known a relationship so strong and healthy as the one we have (not that it’s perfect). Now, after all these years he brings up polyamory. This was actually nearly a year ago. He is not nearly as sophisticated on computer as I am. He’s also very dyslexic and can’t spell for s*** so, here I am. We want to “try out” the lifestyle. That sounds sooooo cliché! We think we are ready to dip our big toes into it. He has no clue how to go about it, and I have about 1/2 a clue more than him. Neither of us are bar flies, so meeting people that way is really not an option. I thought if nothing else, hanging out here some would at least put us in a space where we can talk to people who are ‘like minded’. And we can see if we can learn and get some tips. I guess I should stress, before I close too, neither of us is unhappy. This is not why we are here.

My theory has been forever and ever, after I read a piece about parenthood in Readers Digest some 25 or so years ago, that love is nothing that can be divided. The example is that when you add a child to the family, you simply multiply the love  you have, you add more to the mix not less. And this is how I see polyamory. There is no Earthly reason we should not all be able to handle more than one love. What stops us in our tracks is norms that were created by people from that past who were just as stuck in their ways and ideals as the conservatives (the far right, and other extremists) are today.

It is time, and do think it has started, that we shed that old skin and live up to our potentials. I am talking about all of human kind there in that statement. I have a tendency to think “BIG”. LOL. So, his name is Clyde. He adopted my kids, and is a wonderful guy. He’s a 8 year veteran of the US Army and a retired ATM 1st line tech. I can post pics, but you have to keep in mind that we are both pushing 60 here. LOL. We hope to meet people around our same age (give or take a few, years….decades…ok, ok, I digress). We can talk specifics if it actually comes up. We both are open to friendships, or whatever develops. And we’ll just see how it goes. Feel free to pm me, but don’t expect nudes or play any silly games. I’m not into that sort of thing, and won’t waste my time. Love, love, love sex… but like it in person and don’t do the phone sex/Cam anything/chat sex or whatever its called these days… Thanks for reading and have a very great day!! 

You may find contact information on the contact page.  

About PeggyAnn

Professional PC Consultant, Researcher, & avid people watcher, Peggy Ann Rowe started into her genealogical quest at age 15 after watching the mini-series, "Roots" with her parents. This new obsession has fueled her love of history, & study of cultures & societies in every epoch. Today she is 57 years old with four kids who are all grown up (& all have flown the coop). In between her 'gigs' with clients she volunteered at many different non-profits. Former President, Secretary, and Director at Large on the board of the Douglas County Historical Society for 10+ years, and former Secretary at the Cloverdale Historical Society (Sonoma County) for nearly 10 years. This website is an attempt to share the knowledge she has gained about her family ties with others who may be interested in the same things. She does not guarantee 100% accuracy and does hope that you will send corrections. To learn more about her, click the "about" button in the page menu. Thanks! Another goal of this website is to disseminate a message (i.e. education) about domestic violence, child abuse, and all forms of sexual abuse to society at large. The message comes from real experience from the whole spectrum of the violence from sexual abuse by a perpetrator to sexual abuse perpetrated by a husband, to the abuse of children within the family. Peggy has seen it, lived it, and been hurt by it. There will on occasion be details that might be hard for some people to read, and a warning is usually posted at the beginning of the essay so that those who want to turn and not read may do so. The only way to teach and to let others learn what to avoid is to SHARE what happened with every detail necessary to make the point. Thank you.
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