Things I’ve Learned

“To remain indifferent to the challenges we face is indefensible. If the goal is noble, whether or not it is realized within our lifetime is largely irrelevant. What we must do therefore is to strive and persevere and never give up.” – Dalai Lama XIV

I’ve been in a women’s group called, “Seeking Safety”.  It is a group where a group of women are working through and processing the effects of PTSD in their lives. Today, 2016, PTSD is something that is considered curable, this little fact is new knowledge for me.

The group teaches self-compassion, self-care, learning to ask for help, etc. etc. This is my first round through the curriculum.  It is expected that each survivor goes through the curriculum twice. There is no actual processing of the trauma–rather this group or class focuses on controlling the damage and making life a little less bouncy (in terms of emotions) for the survivor.

Today the discussion turned to the fact that violence in families, addictions, and more is very, very much generational.  It moves from one generation to the next.  This confirmed my theory that I’ve held for several years after discovering a pattern of violence running through my family from one generation to the next. 

Back in 1992 or so, I made a very conscious decision that I was going to put my foot down and stop the violence at the very least in my family tree. My thoughts at the time was that I wanted to protect my children and grandchildren.  My thoughts never really went farther than that.  Today in group, I commented on my frustration because I didn’t think that I had succeeded in the least.  Our group leader told us that it takes 2-5 generations from the time that one decides that the violence is going to stop and actively works towards that end.

So, my message–this time a short one– is that my frustration at seeing lack of results was unfounded.  I may never see the results.  What would it have mattered anyhow if I had, it had never been about me, it was about the future and helping those who come later.

So, one little piece of frustration can be lost.  To keep my eye on the goal I will continue to work through my issues, and practice patience.  I will continue to try and educate as many as I can about these issues, and with any luck at all, my great-grandchildren will see a violence free life.