Checking In

It’s been months hasn’t it? That is what happens when you are like me and not very good at math and must concentrate, basically 24/7 on math. I am lucky in that the next math class has been split into two. Making a quarter class into a semester long class. I got hold of the syllabus, and plan on starting now, 2 months before classes even start to study. I have bought the books needed for the two history classes too. All should be read before classes start. Barring any issues, health or otherwise, I should be graduating in Fall of 22. About the same time as my youngest graduates with her bachelors.

Life here has changed. Not that it can not be overcome, it can be and will be. But, things have changed. My youngest has divulged information about my oldest and what she said when youngest was living with her. Apparently, my oldest made it clear that she really didn’t care about her step dad except to say that she wanted the house. I heard that recently and afterward realized I owed my husband an apology. He told me he did not think she cared about him at all. I was trying to get him to keep up his relationship with her. Thought it would be good for both of them. Its not like it would bother me at all. But, He said no because of the fact that he was pretty sure she didn’t really care about him. After hearing my youngest, I went to the house and apologized. I was wrong, he was right. That had to hurt. One can easily spit out the words, but actually believing them is a whole other story. I don’t know if he believed them or not. But, if there was any hope at all, I most definitely killed it when I apologized. Kind of crappy really.

All of this over a piece of property! A house that needs a bulldozer taken to it because it needs so many repairs and upgrades that it is not worth doing anything else. It is not in any way shape or form ready to be rented. We are here because financially at this point we are stuck. Or we could move but the areas we have considered are too far away from the resources we need for life.

The oldest believes that she is his only heir and is entitled to the property, which I find completely interesting. According to state law, his siblings are also heirs. That is, three sisters and a brother. There are two other people who were adopted, and a legal grandchild to consider. She is far from the only heir. By law, she’d have to get all those people to sign off on them not wanting their share for her to take theirs. I wonder how many of them will do that, if they’ve been told not too and why, prior to the demise of the man of this house. Of course, that is AFTER she is able to make it past a will and a power of attorney, a quit claim form, etc. Which she can not.

Because of her unrealistic plans for this property, she has let herself completely out of the will and has no claim to executorship. She is pretty delusional to think that her mother would not fight her. Especially considering her mother put nearly 10K down on the house. Has lived in said house for nearly 20 years, and stood by the man as he made improvements that he could make. No judge would toss out anyone who has that kind of history. By the time all this comes to pass, my guess, is that I will have lived at this one address for over 20 years. Should the daughter in question thinks she is my only heir, she can think again. She is not heir to anything at all.

If she thinks she’s going to show up and pretend to be a friend and schmooze her way into owning the home. We are both smarter than that. If she think she’s going to pressure, blackmail, or an other sort of mental/emotional/head game her way into a house, she needs to think again. She will be turned in for elder abuse.

This daughter has been expelled from the right of having anything in this house. Nothing will go to her. It did not have to be that way. Her grandfather, Toney, has said more than once that greed is what gets a person caught when it comes to being in trouble, be that criminally, or otherwise. I always did agree with him. In this case it is arrogance and greed. All she has succeeded in doing is pushing two people who loved her very much to a point that they’ll never trust her again. Since she is nearly 40 years old, no one can say that we have left her behind, or have abused her in anyway shape or form into this situation. She has caused it all herself. And there are witnesses. I have come to see that anyone that has anything to do with that daughter to be cut of the same cut of cloth. This includes people who are intimate relationships with her as well. There will be no conscious relationship between myself and anyone having anything to do with her.

Judges do not regularly throw out wills, and powers of attorney btw.  I realize that you read this blog on occasion.  You will NOT be taking anything away from the rightful heirs to this property.   And given health issues, my guess is that the place will eventually be sold to pay for our needs and wants.  So, quit drooling.  There is nothing here to drool over. 

When you are ready to fix all this.  You can try.  We can talk, however, take into consideration, there is no way in hell at this point that I will ever talk to you alone.  There will always be witnesses.   I never called you any names.  You said that.  I didn’t put that little girl in the middle of anything because guess what?! You were the only person in the room who was angry.  I was trying to protect the well from being poisoned anymore than it had been.  But, I was not heard right, or whatever and it did not help.   But, a child will always, always come before any adult, even one in my family. 

About PeggyAnn

Professional PC Consultant, Researcher, & avid people watcher, Peggy Ann Rowe started into her genealogical quest at age 15 after watching the mini-series, "Roots" with her parents. This new obsession has fueled her love of history, & study of cultures & societies in every epoch. Today she is 57 years old with four kids who are all grown up (& all have flown the coop). In between her 'gigs' with clients she volunteered at many different non-profits. Former President, Secretary, and Director at Large on the board of the Douglas County Historical Society for 10+ years, and former Secretary at the Cloverdale Historical Society (Sonoma County) for nearly 10 years. This website is an attempt to share the knowledge she has gained about her family ties with others who may be interested in the same things. She does not guarantee 100% accuracy and does hope that you will send corrections. To learn more about her, click the "about" button in the page menu. Thanks! Another goal of this website is to disseminate a message (i.e. education) about domestic violence, child abuse, and all forms of sexual abuse to society at large. The message comes from real experience from the whole spectrum of the violence from sexual abuse by a perpetrator to sexual abuse perpetrated by a husband, to the abuse of children within the family. Peggy has seen it, lived it, and been hurt by it. There will on occasion be details that might be hard for some people to read, and a warning is usually posted at the beginning of the essay so that those who want to turn and not read may do so. The only way to teach and to let others learn what to avoid is to SHARE what happened with every detail necessary to make the point. Thank you.
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