One thought just leads to another…

On being a ‘whistleblower’

when push comes to shove… I bounce back!!

While writing the previous post, it dawned on me. That being a ‘whistleblower’ is a theme in my life. The outcome is very nearly always the same. Wow.

The first time I was a ‘whistleblower’ is when I supposedly betrayed my mother. This might be what she is talking about when she says I betrayed her, I really do not know. Not sure I care at this point. But, when I realized she was involved with my step father’s criminal acts, I worked very hard to get the detective to arrest her, to get the D.A. to press charges, to get the school district to fire her. And I’d agree that it was a betrayal, except to say that the betraying had already been done by herself, once she decided that my child was the other woman, and she had to protect herself from the said seven-year-old. The detective in an act or acts of support actually nagged the District Attorney. I went to see the district attorney in person. It finally was explained this way. Criminal charges are very much linked to money, and by money, I mean the money it takes to prosecute a criminal. The taxpayers in our country do not want their taxes spent unwisely. They see it as foolish and a waste of time and resources. And so, yours and my local district attorney must weigh each case to see if it is a winning case. IF it does not look like it can be won (regardless of how guilty they feel the person might be), they will not charge the case, because it’s a waste of time and money.

In the case of women — they have a tendency to be able to play up their so-called ‘womanhood’. In my mother’s case specifically, the District Attorney, explained to me that women her age have a tendency to: 1.) find the best attorney they can afford 2.) Act old 3.) Act helpless and the jury reacts by letting the criminal (woman) go free.

And that is the only reason my mother wasn’t charged. The detective was pretty sure she was guilty. The District Attorney was pretty sure she was guilty. Everyone told me so. And just to finish the story completely, my mother did hire the best attorney out of San Francisco who’s was very well known for protecting child molesters and advertised and was proud of it, along with the acting of being THE victim.

So, yes there was ‘harassment’ there on my part. How in the hell do you let things like that, that hurt your child so badly go? Obviously, she never hung onto the hurt that my father rained down on me. In fact, I’d say she blamed me for it when I was still quite young. The same way she blamed my daughter for what my stepfather did, because a seven-year-old is, of course, an impossibly irresistible ‘other woman’ for the man of the house. (YUK!)

The net result of this small campaign of mine, was I suppose, being cut off from my mother. She threatened to have me cut off from the whole family. And at the time I thought she did. And I stayed away from EVERYONE including my beloved grandmother, because I thought I was unwanted. So, yes, I have paid in spades.

But, in the end, I bounced back.

Then I sent a message to an almost son in law. They are still not married so much as I know. And I’d never felt the need to send the message except since what happened to my child I made a solemn promise to myself that children always came first. Had the same (grown up now, and in her 30’s) beloved daughter not told me that she did not like child of the house and considered her a spoiled brat, I would never had a reason to send a message to the almost son in law. The worst of it though, was that she told me that the young child had done some smart-mouthed talking back to her. Daughter basically told me of her reaction. Her reaction was to tell the child that she could talk to her biological mother like that, but she was NEVER going to speak to her like that again. Um, confusing much???

This child’s father was raised Mormon, and it is soooooooooo intertwined with his personality that regardless of how he says he hates it and doesn’t approve of religion and is atheist and so forth— I’m sorry it made him mostly the man that he is, which is considerate, and kind, and a pretty good father to boot. I was/am pretty impressed by him. One of the things that he seems to have stressed was that was important to him that he stay on good terms with his child’s mother, and that his child shows her mother respect. I will tell you, the way the man is, it is hard for me to not see how a person could disrespect what he wants. He’s just a good man, albeit, somewhat angry. But, not angry with my daughter, apparently and in denial since obviously he doesn’t think she’s capable of uttering such words of basically disgust for his child and for what he believes is best for his child. Had she thought about it, she’d known that what she was doing was manipulative toward him and what he wants, as well as toward his child. She is poisoning the child against her mother. She is confusing the child at the very least. My daughter may be well-intentioned, but she is really and truly poisoning the well.

And so, I got kicked to the curb for warning the father to not let the child be alone with said daughter. Because I am afraid of the little girl being hurt by my daughters sometimes incredibly hurtful mouth, which she’s has in her possession and is probably the biggest defense mechanism she owns. So, for basically for being a ‘whistleblower’ again. And it hurt. My god, it hurt. This is partly what led to be my being suicidal at one point.

And just to make an extra point. If I could have handled it another way I would have. But, I was already feeling threatened by the time I opened my mouth. I am sorry for how things turned out. But, I am not sorry for what I tried to accomplish. My ultimate goal was not to hurt anyone, or cause trouble, but to protect a child from a person who owns at times a very nasty mouth. (and her having that mouth, that’s just a fact, and it can not be denied. I would not be surprised at all to see acknowledgment on her headstone!) “Here I rest, Here you see, in the end, MY MOUTH got the better of me. Now kiss my assets!”

I will shut up when I am dead...
I will shut up when I am dead…

but, I HAVE bounced back…

And then, came the situation at the Douglas County Historical Society. Where I got into trouble for having the audacity to point out that artifacts were being abused. That I opened my mouth to point out that board members are not ethically or legally allowed to use DCHS property for their own personal use. I pointed out that it was becoming a habit and that the people were becoming untruthful, unethical, and participating in mutual illegal behaviors. I have turned them into the state of Oregon and into the IRS. I was President of the society, and I was told to turn in my keys. I thought there was board backing or I never would have. Lastly, I have pointed out to the officials that the bookkeeper on the board is Mobile Tune’s bookkeeper and receives her paycheck from Ken. Had she never told my husband that she does as told or she doesn’t collect the paycheck, I’d never thought anything of it, but ahem… her being on the board is unethical. And I know that Ken knows it, because he’s a board member on other boards, and probably knows more about ethics than I do. So, the bottom line is that I got kicked to the curb for being a whistleblower… (Ken Deatherage of Roseburg, Oregon arranged that little Harrah. Beware, and do not use his business, Mobile Tune, for if he can’t be ethical at a small town historical society, imagine how ethical he’ll be with YOUR automobile. Ask my husband what happened to his Jeep and a rear end job that Ken’s shop was paid to fix & did not. I’d stay away from Cynthia Rockney Wilson too, she and Ken both thought it was ok to use DCHS property for their own personal use–and in both cases, a small yet, illegal gain)

Being a whistleblower in my case has in the past put a target on my back. The principle blowback in my case is lack of family. I become estranged more and more from those whom I love BUT whom, I expect excellence from. Being tossed from the board at the historical society was more like being taken away from a great love of my life. But, I will find another way to love. I have personally, removed the ‘target’ from my back and I refuse to be a victim of other people’s dishonesty.

I bounced back
& I have and will PREVAIL…

I rediscovered my goal and have taken the steps to be able to do a better job with what I feel is my calling, and I will enjoy every step along the way. My goal is to know more about our world and it’s history and apply it to our culture in terms of women and children and how they are used and abused, and what we can do to change our world to where it should be concerning these issues. I have applied to the University of Oregon @ Corvallis for a major in history, and women’s studies for a minor. I have been accepted. And I will fulfill my calling…and remain true to myself, and true to what I believe is acting right. Protecting women & children (all of them) first and foremost, and using history and the written word to do it.

It’s just my job.

About PeggyAnn

Professional PC Consultant, Researcher, & avid people watcher, Peggy Ann Rowe started into her genealogical quest at age 15 after watching the mini-series, "Roots" with her parents. This new obsession has fueled her love of history, & study of cultures & societies in every epoch. Today she is 57 years old with four kids who are all grown up (& all have flown the coop). In between her 'gigs' with clients she volunteered at many different non-profits. Former President, Secretary, and Director at Large on the board of the Douglas County Historical Society for 10+ years, and former Secretary at the Cloverdale Historical Society (Sonoma County) for nearly 10 years. This website is an attempt to share the knowledge she has gained about her family ties with others who may be interested in the same things. She does not guarantee 100% accuracy and does hope that you will send corrections. To learn more about her, click the "about" button in the page menu. Thanks! Another goal of this website is to disseminate a message (i.e. education) about domestic violence, child abuse, and all forms of sexual abuse to society at large. The message comes from real experience from the whole spectrum of the violence from sexual abuse by a perpetrator to sexual abuse perpetrated by a husband, to the abuse of children within the family. Peggy has seen it, lived it, and been hurt by it. There will on occasion be details that might be hard for some people to read, and a warning is usually posted at the beginning of the essay so that those who want to turn and not read may do so. The only way to teach and to let others learn what to avoid is to SHARE what happened with every detail necessary to make the point. Thank you.
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