1880-1920 and the “Politics of Respectability”

Angela Davis, and icon from when I grew up.

Reading about a woman’s movement within the Black Baptist Church between 1880ish and 1920ish. They formed a policy of “politics of respectability.” Which gave a framework for all African American’s to keep in mind when they went about their days. It gave them a way to handle every day situations. There were (& can change that to ‘are’) so many prejudices, stereotypes, racism, elitism that was in place, all to keep this people down. Yet they choose to keep their heads up and choose dignity. I imagine the policy was a saving grace to many who survived Jim Crow days. I knew it was bad. But, I never knew it was that bad. You know laws were such that a WHITE man could rape a little black girl and get away with it once she hit puberty. Insane!!!!! The African American’s that I grew up with, and I remember two families, one that I was particularly close with for awhile, were very dignified people. I grew up with the kids, went to school with them, rode the bus with them. Their sense of humor was better than most peoples, which I am sure must have been one of their greatest survival tools. But, looking back I can see that policy in play. And you know… Bless them all!!! It is very, very difficult to be put down, controlled, abused, beaten and keep your head up and your anger down. I know this from experience. I can not say that I succeeded all the time. I would be a liar if I made that claim. The sickening part is that today–I know of people who would still talk about African American’s as if they were ‘still’ and ‘always’ nothing but ‘bimbos’ and ‘coons’. It is 2020 people…. it is time to let it your hate, and supremist attitudes go! Inside all of us, regardless of the color of our skin, we all bleed red. Our “white heart” breaks just as theirs does and for all the same reasons. We really are all one big family. How did we or do we ever justify treating our brothers and sisters like this? It all makes me sad.

Remembering Sambo’s

Little Black Sambo (book)  

There are a ton of variations on the actual story of “Little Black Sambo” available at Google Books today!  FREE!  

The Ocala Kitchen — Remembering Sambos

Growing up in the 70’s, I remember going into those Sambo’s restaurants as a kid with my grandparents.  The place was very much like a Denny’s.  Burgers, pancakes, soda, getting to sit in a booth!

The treatment was always good, as was the food, and the ambience.  I liked it when we got to go to Sambos.  But, I was a little girl who was happy to be with her grandparents, and happy to get to go out and eat with them, who had NO clue about the racial connotations of the name, “Sambo’s” meant.  I remember my grandparents talking about it once.  I remember them looking at the decorated paper table mat.  I remember them pointing out a truck on the freeway, today 880 near Oakland, California.  With the big restaurant logo and the little boy on the trailer.   I never quite understood what they were saying.  Today I don’t even remember the words.  But, the memory in a far off way, seems to remember an acknowledgement of wrongness at some point.  Sad though, I do believe my grandmother was somewhat (huh, is there somewhat? like maybe pregnant?)  racist.  If I knew then what I know now, I would have asked to boycott the business.  I don’t even remember seeing African American’s in those restaurants.  Not working nor enjoying a meal.  Would boycotting them put some people who need their jobs more than anything else in the world out of work??    I do not know.  I only know that this is proof positive that even when I was growing up in the 1970s that racism was still alive and well in America, just the same as it is today.

Higginbotham, Evelyn Brooks.  Righteous Discontent: The Women’s Movement in the Black Baptist Church, 1880-1920.  Harvard University Press, 1994

The Story Behind Naming a Restaurant “Sambo’s”

The Story Behind Naming a Restaurant “Sambo’s”

Posted in Coop, Elitism, General News, History, HST 303- Religion & Social Reform, Jones, Just Jabber, Lifestyle, Memories, Personal, Politics, Prejudice, Racism, Random Links, Sexual Assault, Travel, Women's Rights | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Polyamory – A Journey

A photo from along the South Umpqua River up river from Tiller and very near South Umpqua Falls.
Taken while we were on our winter retreat in ’17! Photo Copyright 2017, Peggy A Rowe-Snyder

It’s been a journey that as of yet, is still incomplete…


From a group where I posted on Facebook: 

Thought I should stop lurking and post an intro since I’ve started to be brave enough to post (so far only twice). My name is Peg. I live in Southern Oregon not far from the Seven Feathers Casino. I am 57 years old, and have four children, and they are all, thankfully, living on their own.

It’s a long story, but I am back in school, over at OSU (ecampus) working toward a Bachelors in History and a minor in Women’s Studies. The end game, I hope is to be a historian and a writer. But, the history is not so simple as American History or even one regions history. The history I am more interested in is family dynamic and culture and how it’s evolved (or devolved in some cases) over the eons. And the ultimate goal: To use my voice and my education to help break the cycle of Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault. (I won’t get on that soap box, I won’t get on that soap box…..) Taking a breath!! LOL

I am not legally married to my husband anymore, but not for the most common reasons. We each have health issues, and he is medically retired. When he got his disability, I lost mine. They said he could support me. Well, I lost medical insurance at that time, and one of my meds (not covered by insurance anyhow) costs $540 per month. There is no generic in America. With the way the cards landed I was better off divorcing him in order to keep insurance going. So, we live together, we love each other, we support each other, etc. etc. etc. Someday once I am on normal social security we hope to marry. (only a few years to go!)

Having said all that, I learned of polyamory around the year 2000. I started to research it and started making contact with people in the lifestyle. At that time I was single. I even bought the book “The Ethical Slut.” lol.(which a daughter borrowed and never returned) Then I met my husband (the one who isn’t a husband. LOL) and he’d never heard of it, and I introduced him to the idea. At the time, I told him that was the way I intended to live. It just makes sense.

Well, our relationship grew and he wasn’t sure he could handle that so, I gave in. We got married, and I found out that I wasn’t all that secure either! LOL. Long story short is that we’ve been together for 16 or 17 years now. We are still pretty well attached. I’ve never known a relationship so strong and healthy as the one we have (not that it’s perfect). Now, after all these years he brings up polyamory. This was actually nearly a year ago. He is not nearly as sophisticated on computer as I am. He’s also very dyslexic and can’t spell for s*** so, here I am. We want to “try out” the lifestyle. That sounds sooooo cliché! We think we are ready to dip our big toes into it. He has no clue how to go about it, and I have about 1/2 a clue more than him. Neither of us are bar flies, so meeting people that way is really not an option. I thought if nothing else, hanging out here some would at least put us in a space where we can talk to people who are ‘like minded’. And we can see if we can learn and get some tips. I guess I should stress, before I close too, neither of us is unhappy. This is not why we are here.

My theory has been forever and ever, after I read a piece about parenthood in Readers Digest some 25 or so years ago, that love is nothing that can be divided. The example is that when you add a child to the family, you simply multiply the love  you have, you add more to the mix not less. And this is how I see polyamory. There is no Earthly reason we should not all be able to handle more than one love. What stops us in our tracks is norms that were created by people from that past who were just as stuck in their ways and ideals as the conservatives (the far right, and other extremists) are today.

It is time, and do think it has started, that we shed that old skin and live up to our potentials. I am talking about all of human kind there in that statement. I have a tendency to think “BIG”. LOL. So, his name is Clyde. He adopted my kids, and is a wonderful guy. He’s a 8 year veteran of the US Army and a retired ATM 1st line tech. I can post pics, but you have to keep in mind that we are both pushing 60 here. LOL. We hope to meet people around our same age (give or take a few, years….decades…ok, ok, I digress). We can talk specifics if it actually comes up. We both are open to friendships, or whatever develops. And we’ll just see how it goes. Feel free to pm me, but don’t expect nudes or play any silly games. I’m not into that sort of thing, and won’t waste my time. Love, love, love sex… but like it in person and don’t do the phone sex/Cam anything/chat sex or whatever its called these days… Thanks for reading and have a very great day!! 

You may find contact information on the contact page.  

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Inclusiveness in terms of Body Image

Just a piece of homework that gives insight into who and what I am. 
For those who are interested.  

OSU – WSGS 223 /Week 4

Textbook:  “Engendered Voices, Feminist Visions” By Susan Shaw and Janet Lee
Readings: Chapter 4 Introduction and Readings 26, 28, 29. 

Page 158

     I don’t live anywhere near OSU.   There is no way I can take a tour of the campus.   I am wondering what I can look at instead.  I come from a family of short women.  I’m the tallest in a few generations, today standing at 5’3.  I have shrunk, I used to be 5’4”.   So, I will look at the home(s) I have seen and see if there are ways to accommodate short people, as well as people with handicaps. 

My assumptions of course, are that all buildings in the world, especially those in the United States are designed with much thought in mind.  That all sorts of situations are taken into account.  Doorways should allow for wheelchairs and walkers, and also the possible large furniture that might come and go.
Stairs should be wide enough to accommodate at least a “normal” sized person (whatever that is).  A door stoop should not only have a guard rail to help hold you upright, but the whole area should be big enough to accommodate those extra-large people.  These are all things that I’ve noticed either at my house or at someone else’s house. 

     It has come to my attention how much difference one little inch can make to some people.  My mother, in her prime was 5’2”.  She’s probably now 5’1”.  I have two daughters who proudly let people know they are “five foot nothing”.  Thank goodness for one daughter, shortness is her main physical problem. 

    I learned that my mother can no longer reach her overhead kitchen cabinets comfortably.  My sister wants her to move to a place built specifically for older folks—shorter older folks so she can reach what she wants. 

     My daughters are constantly complaining about having to ask for help or jump for something on a shelf.  I constantly hear how being short is just the worst thing in the world.    The shelves at the library are too tall even with a stool sometimes.  The top of the grocery store shelves are way too high for short people.    

     I hate to say it, but my guess is that mostly men came up with these designs over the years.  Most of them I suppose tower over me.  Someone needs to sit them down and ask them to please keep short people in mind when they draw up their blueprints!

      I was looking at a photo of a tiny home yesterday.  Against one wall was a flight of stairs.  The first thing I noted was the lack of banister.  I am a registered and well known “bull in the china shop type” –clutz is my middle name.  Not only were those stairs not wide enough there was nothing to hang on to.  Being taller won’t cure that problem.  But, with an enlarging population making the stairsteps smaller seems just silly to me. 

      My shortness isn’t even really all that short, but I can’t stand on a small ladder and reach our fire alarm to change the battery.  My house has storage areas I’ve never been able to reach on my best days.  For such a small house, 940 square feet, & 2-bedroom one bath, this house has the widest hallway I have ever seen in my life.  I’m not the biggest person in the world nor am I the smallest. But if there is one thing, I do like about this house it is the wide hallway where I can cross paths with a 5’9” man and not worry about running into him or the wall.  If the house were not designed so poorly in terms of making things easy for people, I’d wonder if the hallway was made that way for people in a wheelchair.  But truth is, only if they are housebound.  There is no comfortable way to get anyone who either can not walk or even is having trouble walking out of the house easily and safely.  Unless you want to put them on a gurney that waits outside the door, and let others do the walking for you (been there, done that, got to ride in an ambulance too).

Page 169 – Expanding on Body Image.

This one is going to be so tough.  I am 5’3”—with light brown hair and working on going grey, blue eyes….and white, white, skin.  Well, except the tan parts. Which to some degree seem to be permanently tanned?  Mostly my arms.  My idea of a perfect body must be me, 37 years ago.  When, I was 20.  I had quite the figure back then. Of course, I did not know it.  I thought I was ugly.  I’ve said many times, I wish I knew then what I know now, life would have been way, way more about taking chances, and not settling for anything less than the best (by my definition of course!).

I am supposing that for at least American men, my ideal body image would probably fit their idea of the ideal as well.  Not so sure what women would like.  Which seems odd considering I am one of those animals. To build on that silhouette and make it more expansive and diverse would probably to build either a body by collage, or to put at least 1,000 people of all sizes and colors in one room and then call it “a body”.    There is that old saying, “Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.”   My made-up body would include male and female, black, brown, white, yellow, red and every shade in between of people.  I’d like to add here, there would be no race in my little dream world.  We all bleed red…we are all one big family.  The perfect body would be short and tall, large and small, size 16 shoe all the way down to size 2! There is beauty in every single phase of life: the beginning, the end, the middle and every tenth of second in between.  So, I would include the young, the old, and all the middles.  Sky blue, ocean blue, pale blue, green eyes, brown eyes, grey, and hazel – red eyes just in case someone’s are bloodshot!

Reading about the Transgendered and the medical and mental health issues they’ve had to jump through during all those years (Page 217).  Had I known it was a thing when I was a kid, I’d for sure —surely shunned being a girl!  I hated it.  I hated me.    I can give you a laundry list of why today.  But, back then as 7, 8, 9, or 10 years of age….all I knew was that I did not want to be me.  Had I known I had a choice I would probably be known today as transgendered.  As it stands, I think now, I met my first transgendered persons as a young adult, working in a grocery store in Cincinnati, Ohio.  Two men obviously dressed as and acting as women with makeup and EVERYTHING.  They were super sweet people, but to my ignorant eyes, super-duper weird too.  What would be wrong with teaching kids that it takes all kinds to make the world go around, and that it’s ok to love them all. 

There is something else that I want to include.  That most people probably would never think about.  Although it’s probably more in the conscious of people now than ever.  I add this because of very personal experience.   About 5 years ago a song hit the airwaves, “Scars to Your Beautiful” by Alessia Cara (Links to an external site.).  I listened to that song over and over again when I discovered it about three years ago.  I could not believe my ears.  The young lady could have been singing about me. 

There are a lot of people out there who go through a lot of different situations in life.  Some people are scared on the inside—a broken heart, an angry spirit, a brew of sadist tendency made by a life of abused childhood.  Yet, some of those people can be quite beautiful in ways we may need to look for so that we can include them in our idea of expansion of body image.   Because what goes on in the mind surely affects the outward looks that we see in our gaze… large, small, short or tall. 

Then there are those who are imperfect, and who hide away.  Or are pushed aside in the name of keeping a child’s mind free of the ugliness of life.  Or pushed aside because it’s just too damn ugly.  Scars that can be seen from the outside.  Someone who has a big scar across their neck or face from a car wreck.  Another who lost a leg due to being with his/her squad while their vehicle met up with a land mine. Or loss of two legs due to disease.   The loss of an arm due to an industrial accident.  How’s about those people who breathe through the hole in their neck because of smoking cigarettes… is there not still beauty in those ravished bodies of theirs?  I think there is.

And last but not least, back to Alessia Cara.  There are people who cut themselves with knives, and other sharp objects.  I’ve seen scars on wrists, legs, and arms.  There are so many, MANY ways to “self harm”.    Some people, including myself, are scars literally from head to toe.  These people need to know that they are not ugly, and that they do not need to hide away.  They need to be seen as beautiful as any other person in this world.  To be conscious of that and to welcome them into your world would be one of the biggest steps to acceptance that either person involved could ever take.  It could help them both be a better person.

Just a Note:   About the “selfie.” (Reading 26, Page 190) I have been on Facebook probably for 12 years or more.  I have NEVER posted a selfie.  I didn’t like them.  (I don’t like my photo taken either)  I thought they were self-promotion and basically saying, “Look at Me” for selfish reasons.  What is funny is though I saw them that way, I never saw the people who posted them that way.  I was inspired today, by learning that for some people that selfies and blogs (have had one for years) are simply ways for people to feel included, or to help them make connections.  It was a comfort to read that in pretty straight forward language a selfie could be seen as a form of “celebration of life.”  I’ve tried to make it a ‘thing’ in my life to remember to celebrate life.  Our time is limited and God or not, I see it as a miracle of one form or another.  So, I really believe in the celebration.  So, while I was feeling inspired, I took my first selfie.  I posted it to Facebook, and let everyone know that I could do it because 1.  I was having a good hair day and 2. Despite my age, I was having a good face day too!!  ?  

Just me! (Again)

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Has America Lost its Collective Mind?

A plain old number line from a math class.
It represents how far the left and right in this country has moved away from the center.
This line…as represented on the ends by the arrowheads goes on forever.
This is how far the left and right are.
Or at least that is what it feels like to me.
Sad really. America has lost it’s collective mind!

You know, I thought that I had swung way over to the left. This is a brand new thought. Haven’t really thought about it much yet. But, maybe it wasn’t me who swung to the left so much as me seeing the right loose their grip on who they really are? To be accepting of less than honest…to be accepting of a cult leader in the white house? That’s not me… I’m not the one making those choices. I’m still looking for transparency, honesty, empathy, compassion, a good work ethic, for the people, not wasting our money on the golf game kind of person. He plays you people like a fine tuned violin. You keep falling for it. Maybe I am just what I have always been, and you are just what you have always been. Maybe I am just more of what I’ve been and you are more of what you’ve always been, and so our differences can be seen as Grand Canyon sized. Either way, people of this nation need to talk and not blame, find some common ground, work at not being angry, quit blaming the other guy and take responsibility.

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Gun Laws in America and *MY* Lawful and Allowable Opinion

As for the links below.  I don’t know when WordPress built those in, but until I figure out how to turn them off, click Page 2 (see below) to read the essay.  Clicking on page 1 is a total waste of time and energy.  (or click here: http://pegrowe.com/?p=3678&page=2)

Note: I posted an opinion yesterday on Facebook.  That stirred up more opinion than I had reckoned for.  I also showed my ignorance in terms of gun law in this country and was told about it.  So, this is my answer to all that.  Like it or not, this is me.  

My old best friend. Yup this one in particular, was MINE. I got quite good at shooting. Had I been under a lethal threat I could have dispatched and probably still could any threat.

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American’s have mislabeled some political systems and are using that to practice support their very inaccurate arguments, that hurt people, create division, and support anger!

I’ve noticed lately that there are some people beginning to use the scare tactics about socialism becoming part of the system of the United State. The point, I think, in the authors minds is that if you vote Democrat or Progressively that you are allowing Socialism into this country. The targets of the campaign are young people who basically have no experience with socialism, or at least that is the claim.
Socialism has many forms, here is one definition: “Socialism is a range of economic and social systems characterized by social ownership of the means of production and workers’ self-management as well as the political theories and movements associated with them. Social ownership can be public, collective or cooperative ownership, or citizen ownership of equity.”(Wikipedia).
The truth is, when executed properly and when abused, socialism can be a really good thing. It is when people who are greedy for money and power that problems arise.
One of the points, I’d like to make to the older people who are so against socialism. It is not so much about income redistribution. In the true sense of the words, it is about a more equal system, removing caste, and class. It is about giving the underdogs a hand up.
One of the reasons older people, especially are so against socialism is that they are products with a memory of a memory — somewhere along the line Russia got mixed into the definition of Socialism. Russia (or probably more properly, the U.S. S. R) was never run under the net of socialism that I know of. As far as I a know it was run under the auspices of Communism. We are talking apples and oranges here.
In modern times, specifically 1930, Stalinism came into being. Wikipedia says about Stalinism: “the ideology and policies adopted by Stalin, based on centralization, totalitarianism, and the pursuit of communism.” Three leaders later, the Premiere tried to move some powers of the government to the smaller Republics under the umbrella of the USSR. Coming forward into present times, unfortunately, scholars say that Russia now is in the early stages of Fascism.
Here is the definition of Fascism: “Fascism is a form of far-right, authoritarian ultranationalist characterized by dictatorial power, forcible suppression of opposition, and strong regimentation of society and of the economy which came to prominence in early 20th-century Europe.” Wikipedia
I believe some people have confused the terms completely. Fascism is exactly where our country is heading today. It has been mislabeled as Socialism.
The countries that exist today that considers themselves socialist their official “party” in power are Communist. It is Communism that causes their socialist systems to fail. Todays idea of Communism as it is run by their leads is corrupt and is not being run like the true idea of communism:   “The belief in a society without different social classes in which the methods of production are owned and controlled by all its members and everyone works as much as they can and receives what they need.”  source:  (Cambridge Dictionary
People really need to educate themselves about what they are arguing about. Truth of the matter isn’t that even living under a Monarchy is not necessarily such a bad thing as our Founding Fathers thought. It all depends on how corrupt the system is, and whether the Monarch becomes a dictator or not.   The problem in the time of the Founding Fathers was colonialism not the monarchy in and of itself.  Having said that, the King at the time, ran the colonies as if were a dictator rather than as a caring head of state. 

The examples below show that the happies countries in the world live under a combination of Representative Democracy and a Monarchy.

The UN says that the happiest people in the world live here:

  1. Finland
  2. Denmark
  3. Norway
  4. Iceland
  5. The Netherlands
  6. Switzerland
  7. Sweden
  8. New Zealand
  • Finland lives under a “framework of a parliamentary representative democracy.”
  • Denmark lives under a “framework of a parliamentary representative democracy, a constitutional monarchy and a decentralized unitary state” (A Nation State)
  • Norway lives with a “framework of a parliamentary representative democratic constitutional monarchy.”
  • Icelands’ government is a constitutional republic with a multi-party system.
  • Switzerland: “…is the closest state in the world to have a direct democracy where citizens may challenge any law voted by the federal assembly.”
  • Sweden: “parliamentary representative democratic constitutional monarchy.”
  • New Zealand: constitutional monarchy with a parliamentary system of government”
  • The Netherlands  has been a constitutional monarchy with a framework of parliamentary government. 
Socialism under the true sense of the definition exists all over the world, including in the United States. There is absolutely nothing wrong with socialism.
“Socialism is an economic and political system. It is an economic theory of social organization. It believes that the means of making, moving, and trading wealth should be owned or controlled by the workers. This means the money made belongs to the people who make the things, instead of a group of private owners.”
Please note that people in America who are running as Socialists are not claiming to be wanting to create a Socialist State. There is a HUGE difference between a Socialist System and the social programs (or social safety nets) that are government run within a Democratic Republic which is what we officially live under here in the United States.
Although there is NOTHING wrong with a socialist government if run in the truest sense of the definition, what our elders are afraid of is actually corrupted forms of communism and flat out Fascist governments.
The social programs that they are using to justify the war on a potential Socialist State have nothing to do with taking care of people who live under our individual countries Constitution and are disabled, live in poverty, or whatever their circumstances are. Socialism is not social programs.
Most people who use Social Programs here in America do NOT take advantage of our social programs. Instead they usually use the programs as a kind of hand up and out of their circumstances. Those who are involved with the programs for long term or even a lifetime have a tendency to be disabled in one form or another. The disability might be unseen, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist, and we as a people need to be less judgmental about others. 
Having said all this… there is nothing in this world that is FREE. Not even a FREE lunch. People really lament those other countries in the world where universal health, housing, and other social programs keep their populations guarded from extreme poverty (think about that list of happiest people). Their income taxes are usually over the 50% mark.
At least they have transparency in how their programs are truly paid for. Here in America we are hacked to death with taxes on products, taxes on property, taxes on income, taxes on taxes. Some of it goes to line a few Politian’s pockets no doubt. But, truth of the matter is that huge amounts of those taxes go to programs that are meant for the good of all our citizens: Military, health coverage (Medicare, Medicaid), roads and other mundane things that we all have the advantage of having: Sewer systems, water systems, etc.
When an employer is told they must pay for health insurance for their employees then we pay the price after they jack up the cost of their service, or product. Then we pay sales tax on top of that to help pay for the Medicaid programs (for example).
All this anger about Socialism in this country is moot. It’s a red herring. There is nothing in this country to fear about Socialism. The problem is social programs and realizing the truth about how it is paid for, and how they are needed, and what we are going to do about it. Emotionalism really doesn’t belong in the argument. Except that, I beg you all to put yourself in the place of a person born with some sort of “disability” that keeps them from what is know as a “participation of parity”. This means that they can participate in life to the best of their ability. It might mean they need supported in some way. There is nothing wrong with this and we should be helping people like this.
As of 2018, the population of the US is 327.2 million people. According to Dreamscape Foundation, “In the United States alone, 48.9 million people have at least one form of disability. From physical impairments to mental ones, these challenges pose limitations on their lives and the world’s accessibility.”
Political systems are not America’s problem, except to say that Fascism is becoming a bigger problem every day.
And the truth of the matter is that disabled people are in the minority and helping them is not an unconquerable problem.
Part of the problem is political systems that are defined improperly and the fact that people are insinuating them into our system which helps to create anger and divisionism. Emotions run so high over these mistaken definitions that people are attacking others. There are hard feelings being created over ideas that people are terribly mistaken about.

People are arguing for social programs not knowing that history proves that social programs have existed since at least before the year 1500!!  Many of their own ancestors could not have survived without the programs regardless of who or what ran the programs, and how they were run. 
In a very short and terse: American’s are very ignorant and judgmental. I personally would throw in a big dose of arrogance in on that too. I know a lot of people who very arrogantly defend their ignorant arguments. I could take pity on them except that a lot of them are actually quite educated. Which really elicits fear and anger in me, because it shows how dug in they are with their misconceptions.
United States Census Bureau, World Bank, ONS UK
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Abolition, Women’s Rights, and the fight against Domestic Violence and Childhood Sexual Assault.

Aren’t the mix of multiple people who, in history, made this country what it is…. oh, so human. Education may not be what it is today if it were not for Catherine E Beecher, sister to Harriet Beecher Stow. And yet, she thought that a woman’s place was in the home. I find it amazing she could actually justify both attitudes. How did she consolidate the ideas in her mind where she basically agreed to the oppression of women while fighting for their right to be educated just like the boys. It is an interesting story. I identify very strongly with Angelina Grimke. That may not be a good thing. I’ll have to think about it. She really is the one who first uttered the ideas of women’s rights outload. But first she was an abolitionist. In dealing with that issue did she realize that women had rights too. Bless her heart!!! She traveled all over talking to women and men (she was told to quit talking t men and refused) about abolition. She married an abolitionist and a man who would support her theory of women’s rights (after he realized he loved her). Long story short, she wore herself out traveling around and speaking. I think probably today they would say she was ‘burned out’. She retreated to home with her family and never took the stage in public life again. Thank God she watched how her family handled their slaves and realized it was all wrong. She left home at 22 and never really looked back, because she felt so strongly about abolishing slavery and truly believed in women’s rights.
I identify with her only because I basically realized what happened to my child. I educated myself about it and how it affects the family. I tried very hard to right the wrongs–though the fight due to ignorance within the family was horrible. In the fall out, I basically lost everyone, save a couple people. The legal fight, the mental fight, the custody fight that came a little later–2 of them. I had to fight my mother for custody of my daughter  (A nasty way to get what you want, when the mother/daughter are obviously attached and mother would give her life very willingly to protect said child), and then my ex for custody of both (which lasted for years, like until they were both of age almost), yet in the end he took the daughter and hid her for six years, and abandoned his son. I too, burned out. But, like Grimke, in my life, I have continued to feel that things need to change, and I continue to voice what is wrong, what needs to change, and sometimes I offer some ways of fixing things. My pet peeves: Domestic Violence and childhood sexual assault. I’ve been asked to quit talking about it, just like people asked Grimke to stop talking about freeing slaves and women’s rights. Like Grimke, and Douglass, and Garrison, and so many others from that era. I will shut my mouth when I die. And not before. The injustice of what happens to women, children, and their whole families when they are assaulted is total.  The wreckage lies all about them like so many over flowing trash cans you see on a curb. You can work to over come, but you can never forget. The pain of it never really goes away, you only learn to deal with better over the years. But, the dull ache coming from knowing that the child did not grow up to be what she could have been because of the anger that seethes within is haunting. I will never shut up.  Maybe when hell freezes over. Someone, lots of someone’s, have to fight the fight.
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Is it a Laugh for Today?

Many of us have the impression that Trump is nothing more than a puppet
at the disposal of many influential people who are up to absolutely NO GOOD

A cousin sent this little funny (?) political cartoon to me tonight.  I have to admit that I really laughed at it.

But then a thought struck me.  This one is actually dated already.   Steve Bannon hasn’t been the lead puppeteer for a couple of years now.  

I could actually do it.  It was part of my training at junior college.  I will leave this to someone who is younger and has more time on their hands than I do.  Put Mike Pompeo’s  face over Bannon’s and put a turban on both their heads. Maybe throw BinLaden in there for good measure.

We can play the same infantile games that they can!

nuff said for today!!!

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Social Justice, Social Reform, Participation of Parity…Feminism

Today’s question is when was I not a feminist??

1968, Women were throwing symbols of oppression in a barrel to be burned. Items included lipstick, shoes, and other items.

While Clyde went from one dr. appointment to another today, I read chapter 2 of my textbook from my class which is technically called, “Womens Gendered Sexuality Studies.” What I learned today has completely torn the foundations of what I thought I knew about my world completely apart. I remember as a young teenager, I said something, I don’t remember what now, my dad’s reaction at the time was to invite me to burn my bra along with those other women out there. The implication, given by tone of voice, and sarcasm rather than respect, or even a little encouragement that Peggy was indeed using her noodle, and trying to think things through and see that life was fair for girls. My dad embarrassed me is what he did. I wasn’t old enough yet to appreciate what burning a bra meant. I wasn’t really old enough to understand anything except that my father did not approve of my thoughts. And yet, it seems, since that was his reaction, I may have been on to something. My guess is that I was a feminist in the making, and what dad succeeded in doing was slowing that process down, if not shutting it down completely for years. I spent a lot of years looking down my nose on feminism. I have learned today, and at my age now, it comes as no big surprise that feminism today at least is not just about women and women’s rights. If it is stigmatized it is an issue that feminism will take up. If it is discriminated against, feminism will fight the fight. IF it does not allow for the “participation of parity” then women are going to point that out and seek justice. Feminism is humanism as seen through a womans’ eyes. Feminism is the fight for social justice in every form!

I won’t argue about it, I don’t know enough about it. But, I read tonight just why the the capitalist system is not working. It does not allow for 100% participation in society for so many people — it normalizes discrimination, and the stigmatization of conditions such as disability. It encourages so many wrongs and supports so few rights. It is killing true democracy and turning somethings that were right with the world hundreds of years ago upside down and on its head. It turns out that all those young people might be right, socialism when applied correctly may be far more supportive and just than capitalism has ever been. If you don’t believe me read your history books and be sure to start reading before 1500!

I’m thinking I’m going to loose a few more friends. And a few more friends will shake their heads and pity me for my poor misbegotten ideas. Just remember friends you never thought I was stupid before, why start now? We’ve been fed a line of crap for generations now about what is right, wrong, fair, and just. It’s time to rethink things and formulate a new game plan.

Bra burning is dead my friends. In fact, It never really existed. It is a myth. (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-45303069). And while Gloria Steinem is very much alive — the women’s movement is so much bigger, smarter, and caring than many of us had ever imagined.


One last thought for today. What does the right wing men and capitalism have in common? It is the 1%. To support capitalism is to tear down justice for all the common work-a-day people. The idea is to put the profits in their pockets. Their message in the bottle is, “to hell with you….and you… and you….” They have mastered capitalism and use it to manipulate us all into believing that we are independent and that working for wages is what keeps us that way. There is no such thing as true independence in this world. We are all interdependent on each other. Someone has to build our roads, so we can drive back and forth to the grocery store,   Without farmers we’d all need a farm and we’d be eking out our living simply feeding ourselves. Think about the millions of miles of pipeline underneath our cities and rural areas transporting water and sewage to and fro. Someone lays that pipe, fixes the pipe, unclogs the pipe, etc. There is no part of our life that is 100% independent of any other human being.

Capitalism has taught you to believe you are 100% independent. It has created a myth, a gigantic monster myth. It allows us all to to look down on those who can not work (as in the disabled), including women who may still choose to stay home caring for and rearing children. There is no value in motherhood, because working with children is not work.

And this, is the tip of the iceberg of what is wrong about capitalism.

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From a Never Trumper

Forwarded from a cousin in Denmark.
It seems he represents the majority of thinkers over there.

Could it be, that the people who support Trump look at his life and with a bit of envy just want to have all that money too?

That if they realize it, that is partly why they vote the way they do?

Compare that, if you will, to the impoverished white men who repeatedly voted in the rich white man in the historical south (antebellum, civil war, reconstruction). Why else were those men stuck in poverty voting them in? 

We must take into account variables: poverty, illiteracy, bribes (monetary or “campaign promises”). But, the underlying question remains. Freud talked about “penis envy”, perhaps it is time to bring “income envy” into the consciousness.

One thing I have noticed about Trumpers is that they’d rather stay ignorant of how the person came up with his money. They really don’t want to know the details. They look away and become quite defensive if you dare to break the crystal cover that protects their idol. For example, believing that he is sent by God. They really need to turn their eyes back to God as their redeemer and pray. Instead they back up the notion that its ok to disrespect anyone who doesn’t agree with their idea of the norm.

There is no logic to voting in a crook to drain the swamp of crooks. The Mueller report has proven that ‘All the Presidents men’ were basically charlatans looking to make a fast buck off the man who never thought he would actually be President. He saw the campaign as one big advertisement. Self promotion (promotion of the trademarked “Trump” brand name) in the media world where he has made (in the reality of things) most of his money.

I know for a fact they would deny it. But, why vote in a man who is not transparent (we still don’t see his taxes, and his department of treasury guys says we can’t see his travel expenses until after the election is done), who doesn’t pay taxes (exaggerating self, property worth, and losses, filing bankruptcy into multiplicity), who can’t tell the truth if his life depended on it, who has been found guilty of cheating people out of their hard earned money with false promises of education (Trump University), who has been accused (several times, so there is a grain of truth in there somewhere) of rape, and sexual abuse. Why in God’s name would anyone vote for such a degenerate?

They must be able to close they eyes and their minds to the truth and see the false “golden idol” (his toilet?) as something it is not. It is NOTHING to aspire to. He is morally bankrupt. I’d rather be dirt poor (I am basically) than to aspire to anything close to what he is. In their own positions, whatever they are, a vocal few over looks his “minor” imperfections which are not minor at all, calls him one of their own, and supports his cause. Something is truly wrong with this picture.

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